Perspective shifts have a funny way of sneaking up on you, and I’ll never forget the day one tap-danced right into my life.
For 20 years, I lived in various suburbs of Seattle, Washington. The phrase “supporting local businesses” meant getting in my car and driving 8-45 minutes to a coffee shop or cafe. It meant getting my laptop out for work or school, sitting for several hours by myself or a friend I happened to invite, and leaving the place to go about my day. Sure, there was a friendly face here and there, but for the most part, everyone kept to themselves and did not interact with people they didn’t come with.
Since there were so many options to drive to (and none to walk to, as getting out of a cultisac on foot can be an entire day trip), I didn’t encounter any relationship building in the places I visited.
That felt normal to me. Why would anyone bother me and why would I bother anyone else? It’s not like I would ever see them again. They probably also live far away, come here once in a blue moon, and are busy. That was my entire mindset growing up in the Pacific Northwest.
Fast forward to life in New York City in my cozy neighborhood in Queens.
I don’t have a car. I walk everywhere. My physical therapist, dentist and optometrist are less than a 10 minute walk away from my house. The coffee shop I visit every week is a place where I make friends with regulars and employees. When I walk out the door of these places, we wish each other farewell by name.
People on the street recognize me from places where my handmade products are available for sale. All of our businesses are growing positively with mutual support. I genuinely love having these kind interactions and bringing all my friends to be a part of them.
When I lived near Seattle, I felt like individualism was the norm. And now I am integrating into a community of good people, supportive role models, selfless friends, and delicious food.
What makes such a huge difference? Many studies have been done on happiness, and my anicdotal opinion is that it lies with culture, proximity, and religion.
Money does not buy happiness, as I lived in a neighborhood with a household income of $180,000 per year and still felt like my circle of people to reach out to who actually cared was very small, and definitely nowhere near me.
Whereas now I live in a community that makes 3 times less than the number above but has strong family values, is located within walking distance of one another, and is active in church.
I am bewildered that I live in the largest city in the U.S. and have somehow run into small town vibes. Thank you, God.